


No Hugs, Please

by OrbManson7



Series: A Dissertation of the Metaphysical Center by Logan Sanders, a series [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: But it gets better this time!, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, Self-Esteem Issues, Touch Aversion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2020-11-23 09:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20890067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrbManson7/pseuds/OrbManson7
Summary: 'Back before he had a name, before he was Logan, before he was truly Logic, when he mainly identified as purely Curiosity, he had known with absolute certainty that he didn't like hugs.'A story in which Logan has severe touch aversion and someone finally decides to meet him halfway to learn new ways to show him they care.





	1. Chapter 1

Back before he had a name, before he was Logan, before he was truly Logic, when he mainly identified as purely Curiosity, he had known with absolute certainty that he didn't like hugs.

It was a difficult realization to come by. And, as was his name, Curiosity sought to conduct a series of experiments, only to come to learn that he didn't particularly enjoy physical contact of any kind. It didn't hurt, per se, but it was still uncomfortable to experience.

That soon changed, however.

The longer he took between his experiments, as he liked to keep updated records for posterity, there showed a significant increase in discomfort exhibited as pain. Eventually, skin-to-skin contact became nearly unbearable.

He knew this. He relayed this information to the others.

They didn't listen.

* * *

Years of knowing he was _different,_ and countless failed attempts to explain his predicament to the others eventually led to his current habits.

He didn't protest when the others grabbed his shoulder without warning or pulled him into an unbearable bear hug.

He never initiated physical contact with the others, but he no longer tried to negotiate other means of comfort, either.

Logan hadn't seen much point in trying to convince them anymore. Far too many failed attempts had long-since proven the others refused to listen to his "excuses."

He once described the sensation of skin-on-skin contact as unpleasant, wholely unwelcome, and then explained it often lingered for far too long to be worth the hassle of enduring it in the first place. Patton had laughed and pulled him into a hug almost instantly, saying he was making Logan "feel better" by doing so.

It wasn't as though they didn't listen, but rather that they didn't _want_ to listen.

He could handle it, though. After all, with enough time enduring such discomfort, it becomes routine.

He knew he simply had to be on guard when others were present, so that he wouldn't be startled or surprised when they attempted to touch.  
His patience increased as he made sure to graciously allow others to walk ahead of him, and he learned to be content with warm temperatures so he could keep his skin properly covered and prevent accidental contact.

There were days when it was too much, sure. Those were the days when he'd endured too much contact already, such as due to a holiday outing. His cup of allowance drained empty of its last drop, and yet they would still demand more.

Patton never seemed to notice how Logan always stiffened at the initial contact and never moved his arms to hug back.  
Logan secretly hoped that his lack of response might indicate to Patton his discomfort and perhaps shorten the length of the embrace. It never did.

Roman didn't notice Logan's discomfort, either, but would absolutely comment on his lack of response. He would demand Logan's participation, but voice it as though it were Logan playing a game with him.

"Come on now, Specs," he'd say, his voice teasing, "you're gonna hurt my feelings, you know?"

Logan had never intended his discomfort and unwillingness to reciprocate to cause any detriment to the others. He hadn't wanted to hurt them, even if it was in ways he still hadn't quite understood.

He found that if he squeezed Roman quickly, he would often be satisfied and pull away sooner. Unfortunately, this behavior seemed to encourage more contact rather than less, much to Logan's chagrin.

It continued to be the worst part of his daily routine, and he silently thanked a nameless deity when he managed to go an entire day without someone trying to touch him.  
He had become resigned to his painful fate…until something changed.

Virgil arrived, popping up unexpectedly on their side of the mindspace more often. Thomas' insistence on accepting him motivated Patton to befriend Virgil, and he and Roman followed suit soon after.

Logan had wrongfully assumed the anxious side would enjoy contact as much as the others, and found himself rather shocked to find that that wasn't the case.

He was even more shocked to learn that the others found this out…and listened when Virgil asked them not to touch him.

Patton would ask permission before initiating hugs. Roman didn't even pull some guilt-trip out of thin air whenever Virgil slumped away from the arm thrown over his shoulder.

Logan didn't know how to identify emotions rather well, but whatever this newfound discovery had stirred up, it wasn't good.  
He was floored by Patton and Roman's instant adjustment in behavior. Sure, they still touched him and made contact, but they would actually retreat the moment Virgil bristled in reaction or snapped at them for it.

Logan was confused. Annoyed, sure. Flabbergasted, certainly. Petulant, perhaps.  
It just didn't make sense. Why would they listen to Virgil's requests, but not his? What had he done wrong all this time? Was there something he'd been missing?

He attempted to observe Virgil, only to find more questions instead of answers.

He had to know the truth.

He had to talk to him.


	2. Chapter 2

_Morality had started crying. Logic hadn't understood why._

_He'd simply refused his request for a hug. Logic knew, after ten tests now, that he did not enjoy that level of contact under any circumstance. However, stating as much to the emotional side seemed to bother him immensely._

_"Bu-buh-but you let me h-hug you y-yesterday!" Morality blubbered, eyes watering endlessly, as though he had no control over himself._

_Confused by his reaction, Logic considered his observation. While it was true he'd allowed Morality to hug him yesterday, even enthusiastically at that, it was only because he had been wearing long sleeves in his latest attempt to determine if lack of skin contact lessened the disgust such actions caused._

_The experiment had been a success, but a minimal one._

_He much preferred…well, anything else._

_And that's what he had told Morality. Why would he be so upset that Logic was being honest?_

_"You-you're so _mean_!" Morality had practically screamed at him, turning and running away to exert his excess of emotion elsewhere._

_Logic was grateful the conversation had ended, but concerned for his friend nevertheless._

_Morality didn't seem to appreciate his reasoning, but it was Logic's experimenting that had caused the misunderstanding._

_If he hadn't tested his theory, Morality would not have been upset. But if he hadn't tested his theory, he would not have learned the truth._

_Relaying that truth was what instigated Morality's reaction, though. Perhaps being honest was the problem in this predicament._

_Perhaps he should just lie._

* * *

Logan woke up, eyes bleary from sleep and lack of correctional lenses. He reached over to his nightstand to retrieve his glasses, placing them on his face before checking his watch. It was two minutes before his alarm was set to wake him.

Right on schedule.

He got out of bed and prepared for the day, remaking the bed and acquiring his necessary attire--tie included.

He picked up the loose-paper list on his desk and checked its contents one last time. It was a meticulous checklist for today's activities, the biggest one being his discussion with Virgil concerning his touch aversion. He crossed off what he'd accomplished in his morning routine, folded the list and pocketed it for safe keeping. He would cross off his tasks as the day went on.

First on the list was to obtain coffee without waking the others. Not always the easiest feat, but the early hour usually granted him an advantage.

He made it downstairs and into the kitchen before any other noise was heard. The distinct sound of a door opening and closing.

Logan hurried through the process of starting the coffeemaker, but it wasn't long before a tired voice spoke up behind him.

"Mm. 'Morning, Lo."

Logan turned to see Virgil dragging himself into the kitchen, eyes almost closed as he stepped up to the cabinet that held a number of snacks. Based on the hour, he suspected Virgil was going to grab a granola bar, but the anxious side came away with Patton's prized poptarts instead.

It was good then that Patton quite liked to share.

Logan pulled down a plain blue mug from the shelf and poured his coffee as Virgil lazily ripped open the packet of poptarts, spilling crumbs along the counter and the floor.

If Logan had done something like that, he'd shudder to think of the consequences.  
He made a mental note to tidy up the kitchen after breakfast, knowing the others weren't fond of such tasks and were likely to avoid it.

Virgil looked almost angry at the reflective packaging before finally chewing down the flat, unhealthy pastry. Logan recognized he had an open window of nearly twelve minutes to ask his questions right then and there, but he knew to be patient.

Virgil was quiet due to his self-preservation, something Logan found he admired. In fact, Virgil's insistence to point out his own discomfort in situations happened to be what spurred this interest of his. Logan had given Virgil ample space whenever they were in the same vicinity, in a silent show of solidarity of their mutual situation.

After a beat, he realized he had been staring. Logan glanced away, reminding himself of his schedule. He couldn't possibly expect Virgil to have an attentive discussion on such a serious topic at this hour, so it was best not to dwell on it. He could wait.

He checked his watch.

Four more hours until his scheduled discussion.

Logan tapped his fingers on his mug, watching the steam rise and dissipate slowly.

It couldn't hurt to simply confirm Virgil remembered he'd wished to speak with him today, right?

Before he had fully decided on turning around and making short conversation, something--Virgil?--_Virgil_ had reached over and grabbed Logan's arm.

"Hey, can I--"

Logan involuntarily launched his coffee mug forward, managing to catch the handle at the last moment as its contents splattered across the counter and into the kitchen sink.

His heart was beating faster than necessary, but it was rare for such startling events to occur anymore, so he supposed it was warranted.

He stared down at the now-splattered counter.

The room smelled far more strongly of coffee.

"Oh--oh my god," Virgil backpedaled and slunk away. "I'm so sorry, I didn't-- I didn't mean to--!"

Logan set his empty mug down in the sink and waved dismissively at Virgil.

"It's perfectly alright," he said, neutral expression having returned. He quickly retrieved a washcloth and started cleaning up all the misplaced liquid.

He should have known better than to turn his back on any of them, even the newest side. This was ultimately his fault.  
He spared a glance back at Virgil, only to find his expression dark, buried beneath his hood, and…terrified.

"Uhm," Logan started so eloquently, hoping to remedy the incident quickly, "it's just a little coffee. It's really okay. Nothing to worry over."

He had observed Virgil's tendency to expect the worst of outcomes in any perceived negative situation, and hoped his calm response would alleviate that.

He placed the used washcloth in the sink and turned to face his acquaintance.

He didn't care for extreme reactions, especially emotional ones. He cursed his own actions moments ago, as he didn't want to cause discomfort for Virgil, like he'd done so many times for the others. He was meant to do better.

Logan could see Virgil trembling, so he attempted to remember calming methods and exercises he'd read recently.

Before he could bring forth any suggestion of breathing rituals, Virgil spoke up.

"I… I know you hate me."

That proved to be an out of place, confounding statement.

At the lack of follow-up, Logan raised an eyebrow, asking,  
"What gave you that idea?"

Virgil didn't meet his eyes, staring down at the kitchen floor as if it were holding his complete attention.

"You just-- " Virgil pulled at his own sleeve. "I know you keep avoiding me. And I get it, trust me, I do, but… I'm trying. I know that's not good enough."

Logan couldn't accurately describe whatever sensation had swept through him at those words, but they left behind a familiar twinge of regret. He knew it as his natural indicator that he'd fumbled this opportunity, just like every one prior.

Virgil had gotten a distinct impression from Logan, one that he believed meant Logan did not tolerate his presence.

Logan knew that to be far from the truth, yet he could easily trace back each individual action of his that could be portrayed as such.

His palms itched. He had been so focused on his own self-improvement in light of his discovery that he'd neglected Virgil's true needs in the process.

Logan didn't want anyone to believe he disliked them, because he didn't. He didn't want Virgil to have any reason not to trust him.

His checklist felt heavy in his pocket.

He had already failed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this one, folks. I had to finish up my Logan Angst animatic, and I finally posted it on YouTube, so feel free to check that out if you're interested: https://youtu.be/H-6nO-9gHt4
> 
> I should be back to posting more regularly again, though!

'_The enigma at the heart of quantum reality can be summed up in a simple motto: what we see when we look at the world seems to be fundamentally different from what actually is._'

Logan had read and reread the same paragraph fourteen times in the past several minutes. The words failed to process each time he tried, uselessly scanned by uninterested eyes and blocked from a clearly distracted mind.

He couldn't concentrate. 

Initially, his plan moving forward after the incident with Virgil that morning was to abandon his schedule for the day and pretend the others didn't exist while he hid away in his room. However, his focus wavered without a list of daily tasks.

The lack of activities indicated a lack of productivity, and it only unsettled him further as he diligently avoided his self-assigned duties for the day.

Regarding the room's silence, he tried the line again.

'_The enigma at the heart of quantum reality can be summed up in a simple motto: what we see when we look at the world seems to be fundamentally different from what actually is._'

He still couldn't seem to process anything he was reading.

Setting the book aside, Logan took in a deep breath and sighed. He knew avoiding Virgil wouldn't solve anything involving their situation, but he didn't want to risk upsetting him any more than he already had.

Staring at the barren walls and organized desk in front of him, he knew he didn't want to stay in there much longer. His room had never been designed to be comforting like Patton's, or inspiring like Roman's. It just existed in an effort to hold information, as well as a metaphysical representation of the way Thomas' clever brain catalogued and organized and stored any and all information and sensations it happened to receive. Thankfully, much like the brain, the room collected such vast knowledge in small, enclosed forms, and stacked them together by category, much like a newspaper or an encyclopedia, allowing Logan a modest-sized room with numerous bookshelves, rather than a cluttered knick-knack deathtrap or an extravagant and velvety ballroom, and certainly not a dimly-lit panic-inducing icebox, either.

His room served little purpose as a respite, though, so he didn't particularly care to stay within its walls unless he needed to negate emotional responses without the others knowing. 

That definitely wasn't what he'd been doing in there since that morning, but he was willing to keep cooped up in his bedroom and interact only when Thomas necessitated it if it allowed Virgil and the others more comfort in exchange. They may not have been willing to go to such lengths for his security, but that wouldn't stop him from doing as much as possible for them.

A knock on the door startled Logan from his thoughts and he turned around to see Patton peek his head inside.

"Heya, Logan," Patton chimed in, giving a weak smile. "Keeping busy in here?"

Logan glanced back over at his book, and nodded. He'd been trying to stay busy, at least.

"Any chance it's something you could work on downstairs?" Patton inquired, finally stepping fully into the room. 

Logan noticed rather quickly that Patton was fiddling with his fingers absently. That likely meant he was seeking comfort, and if Logan gave a positive response, it may lead to another unwanted hug.

He turned away.

"While it would be possible to complete my work elsewhere, my room provides the best environment for clarity and lack of distraction… when others remember to respect my privacy, that is."

He did not bother glancing back to see Patton's reaction to his statement. He knew he'd be embarrassed, and hopefully it would deter the oncoming hug.

"Sorry, kiddo-- ah, I mean, _Logan_," Patton corrected himself and laughed it off weakly. "But I still gotta ask if you'll come downstairs with me."

The insistence wasn't new. Patton liked getting his way, but he always tried to achieve it via the most peaceful means available. Logan figured he ought to be grateful for that, as not everyone followed such a distinct moral code.

"Why? Do you need my help with something?" Logan finally turned back to face Patton, only to realize he had inched closer to Logan's chair.

He knew what would come next.

"Well, _kinda_?" Patton drawled, as if he were releasing a deep secret. "I heard there was a little oopsie this morning… with you and our resident Captain Boo Berry Crunch, hm?"

"Patton, I'm fairly certain those are two separate brands of cereal," Logan began, staying resolutely seated and perhaps lingering on the easier of such presented topics.

What happened that morning could hardly be classified as a _little oopsie_; it was simply an overstep on Logan's part and a miscommunication on Virgil's. And now Logan was proving to do what Virgil had already believed him to be doing: avoiding him.

But it was fine.

"Well, Virgil was pretty upset when I talked to him a little while ago and he told me what happened. I just don't think we need anybody fighting around here--"

"There wasn't an altercation." Logan stood, hoping to make his point, but Patton continued.

"--and the best way to fix these things is to just have a nice, little chat, get all the feelings out in the open, and, if we're lucky, _hug it out!_"

Logan grimaced. There would be nothing lucky about that, even in the instance that luck actually existed beyond the prevalence of probability. But Patton wouldn't want to hear that.

"I understand your concern," he decided to respond, unfortunately sounding as practiced in this line as ever, "but perhaps you should save your comfort for Virgil and allow me to determine a solution on my own?"

One of these days, they'd listen and realize that Logan did in fact know what he was talking about when it came to probable outcomes.

Perhaps Patton had a point about getting the miscommunication cleared up, but he certainly didn't want to force the conversation by any means.

Patton stepped forward with a smile, stating,

"Aww, I know you need a little comfort, too, from time to time. You can't fool me!"

That was all the warning he had before a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders and squeezed unforgivingly as he tried not to flinch.

Logan stood still, regretting his decision to stand just moments ago. Perhaps Patton wouldn't have gone in for a hug if Logan had remained seated? He would have to try out that hypothesis later.

The gradual warmth that built as the other side kept holding him close made Logan's stomach curl, and if past events proved a pattern, he knew he was going to be sick if the embrace didn't end soon.

Patton was expecting an answer. He wanted Logan to fix this situation--one that Logan had so obviously created--by accompanying the others in their makeshift intervention of sorts.

The longer he took to give Patton the answer he wanted to hear, the longer the physical contact would last.

And as Patton's arm shifted against the back of his neck, he knew none of this would be about his comfort. It never was.

Trapped both figuratively by obligation and physically by appendages, Logan had learned to simply tolerate his own pain and discomfort to spare the others' emotions. He didn't want them to believe he didn't enjoy their presence, but if they only refused to listen then that meant playing along was his best option.

Logan was meant to solve their problems, not avoid them, after all. That was his purpose here in the mindspace.

He set as neutral an expression he could manage.

"I suppose Virgil deserves an explanation," he said, silently waiting to be released from Patton's hold.

He could feel the moment Patton gave a quick squeeze and pulled back, but he didn't let go as Logan had hoped. 

He gave a big smile, replying,

"Awesome! Now just remember to be nice, and we'll cheer him up in no time!"

Logan tried not to argue the fact that he had been reasonably amiable towards Virgil throughout most of their interactions, but Patton didn't change his mind often.

Maybe Virgil would, though?

Patton finally slid his hands away, fully releasing Logan, and turned for the door. Logan obediently followed behind, unprepared for the uncomfortable conversation ahead.

He didn't have much of a choice, but he might be able to change Virgil's mind about the overall situation. It could be worth a try to prove him wrong, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not an obvious bit, but the opening had a quote from a new book titled Something Deeply Hidden by Sean Carroll; it's about quantum theory and the foundations of quantum mechanics written in kind of a sarcastic wit narrative, so check it out if you're into nonfiction! I just figured it'd be something Logan would read and the title is a fun little throwaway hint to what's coming next chapter, so....
> 
> Thanks again for reading, and be sure to check out my animatic and let me know if you want to see more like it in the future!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should reiterate that none of the sides are unsympathetic in this fic, but they are making bad decisions when it comes to the comfort of other characters. They are not doing so INTENTIONALLY, but please be aware that this does occur (and will be resolved soon enough)!

The day had already been fraught with complications, so it seemed reasonable to believe there’d be more lying ahead.

Logan tried to offer to let Patton walk ahead of him on the stairs, but the other interpreted the gesture as an excuse to dawdle and, instead, he ended up with an arm swung over his shoulder as Patton guided him downstairs as though he were an unruly pet rather than someone perfectly capable of descending a staircase on his own.

His hands itched at his sides, but he willed them still. It was best to play along. He knew this.

Entering the common area, they both noticed Virgil sitting at the dining table, looking bored and just as tired as he had that morning. Roman stood beside him, likely reciting something of little interest to the anxious side, given his lack of reaction.

“Guess who decided to join us!” Patton called out, and Logan made direct eye contact with Virgil’s sulking gaze as he looked to them.

Patton let his arm drop, only to push Logan forward. He gestured towards the table and Logan sighed.

He didn’t appreciate the constant hinting. He fully understood the parameters, and likely had a better interpretation of the situation than Patton possibly could, but he didn’t need to explain that right now. He just needed to reassure Virgil. Solve the issue, as always.

He took a seat across from Virgil, his back straight and eyes forward. He hoped to make this conversation as quick and informative as possible, for everyone’s sake. The less controversy and emotions involved, the better.

“So, you wanna just get on with this?” Virgil remarked, before Logan had even started. “You hate me. I should leave you alone. No discussion necessary. We done here?”

Virgil was curling in on himself and refusing to look at Logan, body language directly opposing his anger-filled remarks. Logan could clearly see he was distraught and only resorting to anger to cope. Truthfully, this was exactly what Logan had wanted to avoid. And Patton standing there, looking dumbfounded wasn’t helping matters, either.

“That’s—” Logan swallowed. “That’s not true.”

Virgil only glared at him from across the table, arms crossed and everything about him reading as defensive. Virgil was seeing this discussion from the point of view of a victim. Logan shifted in his chair. He really had ruined his opportunity with his behavior, hadn’t he?

There had to be some way to change Virgil’s mind, though. He had to believe it was possible to explain his actions and reclaim Virgil’s friendship, especially in result to such a small misstep on his part. Sure, his own unchecked emotions lured him into avoidance tactics, and now he was facing the consequence, but this level of reaction from Virgil and the others by proxy was unnecessary.

If he could explain the truth, if he could just make Virgil understand that he had simply been confused and perhaps a bit envious of his position amongst their established ‘family’, then maybe he could salvage their friendship.

This was a simple misunderstanding, the easiest of problems to solve. And Logan was the one with the solutions, after all. He could fix this.

He looked back up.

“It’s alright, Virgil,” Patton spoke up before Logan could. “I'm sure he still loves you. He just doesn’t know how to say it or show it sometimes!”

It’d been a long time since such an icy chill had run through him like in that moment.

The genuine smile on Patton’s face at such a horrific phrase kept Logan’s jaw clenched tightly. Was… was that what he truly believed? That Logan was merely incapable of expressing himself? That he was meant to be pitied for harming the others, rather than acknowledge their own lack of understanding him?

Hearing Roman laugh and walk away, as though Patton had told some sort of inside joke just then, only caused his own thinking to echo repeatedly through his mind, louder and louder in its reverb. He had somehow led them to believe he was truly emotionless. He had led them to believe he was incapable of love at all.

This wasn’t the time or place to react. Or perhaps it was? Maybe he should prove them wrong, right here and now? Shout, scream, cry, laugh, do something they have come to believe impossible of him?

But he couldn’t. 

This moment wasn’t meant to be about him. He had wanted to tell Virgil he hadn’t done what he had out of malice, and here the others were, convincing him he’d done it out of ineptitude.

Then, as if to top it all off, Patton leaned over to wrap his arms around the grumpy, anxious side across from him, and Virgil put up a hand without even looking at Patton.

“No hugs,” he rebuked coldly. “Please.”

Patton merely laughed and backed away.

“You got it, kiddo,” he smiled wide, as if the refusal hadn’t bothered him in the slightest. “I’ll stow it away and save it for later. You can cash it in any time!”

He walked back behind Virgil and headed towards the kitchen, mumbling something about cookies, all as Logan couldn’t help but follow him with his eyes.

Patton had listened to Virgil. Patton had stopped mid-hug and ceased the action entirely for the sake of Virgil’s comfort.

Logan tried not to think about the disgusting emotions that rose within him at seeing that change in behavior, the one he’d still never earned, yet again.

Patton had never been so complacent, let alone bemused, when Logan had rejected a hug. Patton would never listen to him like that.

It didn’t make sense. What was so different? He’d asked himself that question so many times, but to have it so blatant in front of him after enduring all the day’s events already, his mind couldn’t stop.

Had he simply done something wrong? Was he being punished? Did the others know full-well how uncomfortable he was with contact, and this treatment was only meant to torture him until he learned to improve or succumbed to ill-fated tolerance? How was he ever supposed to resolve his situation with Virgil if he couldn’t even keep someone as kind as Patton from hurting him with that very kindness?

Logan had somehow become the villain in this scenario, it seemed. That explained why no one else had reacted like he had to Patton’s statement.

There had been no joke, no rebuttal from the others, no equal response of his horror. They had all simply accepted what Patton had said as truth.

They believed him. They thought Logan didn’t love them.

Or, rather, they didn’t think he was capable of it. They made excuses and pitied him for it.

* * *

He built up what little confidence he had left and glanced over at Virgil. The other side’s tired eyes stared back at him.

“What?” Virgil asked, his tone angry but unsteady. “If there was supposed to be some kind of apology, let’s just get it over with.”

Logan swallowed, his mouth dry and head reeling. He still had to fix this.

“So we’re just sticking with you hating my guts then?” Virgil remarked, crossing his arms, impatient.

Logan only took a moment to think on it. He knew that portraying the truth would be best in this situation, so perhaps he simply had to explain. He had to get Virgil to allow him to explain.

He glanced over into the kitchen, seeing Patton busying himself at the stove. He turned back to Virgil and took a breath.

“What could I do to convince you otherwise?” Logan asked, laying it out simply.

Virgil barely reacted, his eyebrow imperceivably twitched.

“What could you _do_? I mean, if you actually hate me, I’d prefer to hear it upfront—”

“I don’t.”

Virgil wavered greatly at that. Logan held his gaze steady, continuing,

“I don’t hate you. Clearly, there has been a misinterpretation in my actions, but I… Virgil, I quite enjoy your company,” he tried to allow emotion into his voice, but it stayed monotone as ever. “I wouldn’t spend time with you if I didn’t enjoy your presence.”

Virgil seemed unimpressed.

“Then why the hell did you hide out in your room all day? You just change your mind, or something?” he scowled.

Logan paused. He didn’t really have a rebuttal for that. He had been avoiding Virgil because he hadn’t wanted to address this mistake. He hadn’t wanted to admit he’d been wrong.

And, he’d been still sour over Virgil’s treatment from the other sides, as well.

Logan clenched his fist, noticing as it began to shake. Honesty was the best policy, correct?

“I… was envious of your…position.”

Virgil’s eyes widened and he leaned forward, his expression full of confusion and surprise.

“Uhhhh, _what_?” he questioned.

Logan quickly shoved his hand under his thigh, convincing himself the shaking would stop if he powered through this conversation.

“The others listen to you,” he explained. “They listen when you tell them to stop. They do not listen to me, and I was envious of the power you hold. Even though I understand that power can come with disadvantages and that you are clearly uncomfortable quite often in this part of the mindspace, I still envied your ability to have the others listen when you spoke.”

“Alright, so,” Virgil shook his head, confusion still present on his face. “I’m… what? You’re saying, _what_? That the other two don’t listen to you enough and you’re jealous ‘cause you don’t get to talk about math or something—”

“No, no, it’s not that. It’s that they alter their behavior for the sake of your security and comfort.”

“They _what now_?” Virgil asked, incredulous.

Logan felt his hands grow cold again, the shaking only worsening. He tightened himself, trying not to curl in, and forced himself to appear as open and formal as possible. He needed to be taken seriously.

Virgil’s eyes were searching his, almost desperately.

He wanted to understand.

Logan pulled his hands into his lap and fought the urge to look away again.

“They don’t…” he gripped his hands together tightly. “They don’t hug you, if you tell them not to.”

Virgil glanced away, like he was expecting someone to walk back into the room. Leaning back into his chair again, he shook his head in disbelief.

“Well, yeah, but I don’t see how that has to do with…any of this, Logan."

The confusion was unfortunately familiar. Logan received that reaction from the other two, and especially Thomas, rather often. Virgil had shown he understood a lot of the concepts he presented, however, so seeing his addled expression now was fairly harrowing.

He was only confusing Virgil the longer this conversation dragged on.

His hesitation, his attempts to secure his own privacy and pride were fruitless. He was supposed to reassure Virgil, not confound him.

"You're right. Excuse my tangent. It was my mistake to avoid you," he told Virgil plainly. "And I will do my best to remedy this. My own…_feelings _should not have impeded our interactions, and I will see to it that such circumstances not occur again."

With that, Logan stood and pushed his chair back in.

"I have other matters to attend to for now, but you have my word that I wish to spend time with you again soon," Logan told him formally, and then walked towards the commons and headed upstairs before he could continue the conversation any longer.

It was a legitimate stopping point, and he would only elaborate if Virgil deemed it necessary later. For now, he needed to reframe his current list of daily tasks and try to accommodate more time to attend to Virgil in his schedule throughout the remainder of the week.

That would prove to Virgil he could solve this mistake of his own making for sure!

As Logan started calculating a new plan while climbing the staircase, Virgil watched him leave, expression gradually gaining concern as Logan left his sight.

Something about that whole moment felt…off.

Thinking over what Logan had told him, Virgil decided he had some questions of his own to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed, this is no longer listed under anonymous. Who knows where that confidence manifested from because I certainly wasn't expecting it!  
Anyway, this chapter will likely be revised in the future because it got........ramble-y a lot. Sorry about that.
> 
> Oh, and prepare for a perspective change for the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the next chapter will be in Virgil's POV to get some much-needed context going. This chapter is mostly all set up for the next one that will get back to the actual point of the story. (Sorry on the huge delay btw)

It didn't take much for Virgil to deduce that something was wrong.

The sense of dread rarely left him, sure, but the conversation he'd just had with Logan filled him with mostly confusion and doubt, where there had once been anger and resentment. He thought Logan had been lying to him, avoiding him because he didn't want to tell him to his face how he didn't belong here with the so-called "light sides." He certainly felt like an outcast over here, so it would've been true, if he'd actually have come right out and said it.

But, no, Logan had _apologized_, like he'd been reprimanded by a supervisor at work or something.  
And then he even mentioned something about the others not listening to him? What was that all about?

Watching Logan ascend the staircase and disappear again for what would probably be the rest of the day, Virgil let his mind wander. And it was never a good idea to let it do that, obviously.  
Maybe he should figure out what the hell was really going on around here instead of thinking up a million impossible scenarios to freak him out instead?

He started to stand when Patton stepped out from the kitchen with two plates and took his seat at the table again, smile small and concern in his eyes.

_Oh boy_, Virgil had already become accustomed to what that meant.

"So how'd that go, kiddo?" Patton started, pushing a plate towards Virgil with a grilled cheese sandwich on it, cut into quarters with the crust removed.   
Virgil grimaced reflexively. Patton seemed to have a habit of treating him like a child, and it was annoying at best, while devastatingly antagonistic at worst. Both of those things were _Virgil's _job, thanks.

If he had said that out loud, Patton would've treated him even more like a child.

He stared down at the sandwich, refusing to look at Patton at all.  
"Logan apologized," Virgil finally explained. "It wasn't a big deal."

Patton, predictably, pushed for more than that. Patton was always like that, Virgil had quickly found out. You give an inch, suddenly he pushes for a mile. There's no middle ground with that guy.

Virgil sighed, looking anywhere but at him as he reluctantly responded,  
"He just said I basically read him wrong and he doesn't hate me. _Yet_, anyway."

Patton clapped his hands together with a big, warm smile.  
"Ignoring your little comment at the end there because you're absolutely wonderful and everyone should know it, but I'm _so_ _happy _you two worked it out!"

Virgil slid down in his chair.  
"We didn't, really. I was just being stupid and he was dealing with something, I guess, so--" Virgil was cut off as Patton stood up and circled around to his side of the table.  
"Sounds like a victory to me! I say a victory hug is in order! What do ya think?"

Virgil couldn't help gaping up at Patton, at his eagerness to be so…sunshine-y like this.   
It must be exhausting.  
Always making jokes, laughing, and having fun. There had to be times when it wasn't like that, but Virgil hardly ever saw it. He certainly tried, but Patton was just so happy. Too happy.

Nope. Not right now. He had to remind himself he already had a plan to figure out Logan's deal first. Then he could see what was going on there.

Patton opened his arms wide, smiling down expectantly. Virgil sighed and almost imperceptibly nodded before he was smothered in Patton's big warm arms.

He was honestly thankful nobody was around because he could actually feel himself smile and he hated it. It was just difficult to _not_ like Patton's hugs!   
It wasn't like he didn't try resisting, though.  
From the moment he'd joined these guys on their side of the mindspace, he worked so hard to reject the others' bouts of affection, namely hugs.  
He would duck around wrapping arms and sink out when anyone got too close with that particular twinkle in their eye.  
But Patton was just so…gentle and caring all the time. He didn't let anything stop that. Yeah, he pounced at any opportunity to talk to Virgil, which was annoying most of the time, but he started checking before he placed a hand on his shoulder, and that spare moment of hesitation started to hurt.  
He'd been without any kind of warm touch for so long…

Something that he had always thought to be conditional had suddenly become _abundant_ and he just didn't know how to deal with it.

He reached a hand up to squeeze at Patton's arm.   
Virgil kind of liked not having to fight for something so nice. Not that he deserved it in the first place.

And it wasn't only Patton, of course. Even though he and Roman butted heads all the time, Roman was surprisingly tactile when getting his point across. Virgil honestly liked seeing that dumb look on his face when Roman sidled up to him and Virgil purposefully backed away. But it could only be funny if Roman thought it was a joke, too.   
He had to give in sometimes, and Roman was so stupidly astonished when Virgil actually let him ruffle his hair or put his arm around his shoulder, so it wasn't like he wanted to say no anyway.

And then there was Logan...

Virgil peeked over at the staircase as Patton slowly pulled out of their hug, reluctant as ever to stop.

Logan wasn't as cold as he came off in conversation. But he definitely wasn't the touchy-feely type.   
The first time Virgil absently grabbed Logan's sleeve to get his attention, Logan had practically jumped right out of his own skin and then avoided Virgil for, like, an hour after that. He thought Logan hated him, because why wouldn't he, right? Virgil had to be Logan's worst nightmare, making everything harder for Thomas, which only made everything harder for Logan, too. It was only _logical_.  
But then sometimes he'd just…ask to sit near him while he quietly read a book. Or he'd talk to him for awhile, discussing different philosophies without making Virgil feel stupid for having a different opinion on a lot of things.  
One time, just a little bit ago, Logan had gotten him a larger terrarium after he offhandedly mentioned that the one in his room wasn't big enough for his spiders. Virgil, dumbass that he is, didn't even know what to say. He hadn't even thanked him. Logan told him it was just a gift and then left like it really hadn't meant anything at all. Maybe it didn't?

He always did that. He'd do something but say it held no meaning. He'd say he didn't have emotions (which Virgil didn't believe for a second) but then would clearly get frustrated at someone for not listening or frown when something went wrong or even give the smallest smile when he thought no one was looking.

And then when Virgil grabbed his shoulder that morning (because--again--he's a dumbass), nothing made any sense anymore. Logan had been so angry over something so small and accidental, and it felt like Virgil had gone right back to how it'd been before he'd left the Others. Whatever invisible line he didn't know was there had been crossed, and that Logan was so clearly pissed but acting like he wasn't?

Logan was very confusing. At least, when compared to the others.

Logan had said something about being "envious of his position," whatever that meant. It was like he didn't even realize Virgil was the outsider here, the obnoxious red stain on everyone's otherwise happy lives.  
There was no way Logan would miss something so obvious, especially since he was always so good at pointing out everyone's flaws...

"And you still got an extra one of those on reserve, too. Don't forget!" Patton winked at him like a dork.

Virgil squinted, coming back to the moment and trying to sift through his thoughts to figure out what the hell Patton was talking about, but came up empty-handed.

"What?" He finally just asked outright, his voice sounding a bit harsher than he meant it to.

"I told ya before, that hug's waiting for whenever you want it," Patton assured him with a signature warm grin, seemingly unbothered. "Any time, anywhere, I'm here to listen!"

_The others listen to you._

Virgil's eyes grew wide. Was this what Logan had meant?

He nodded at Patton, his mind racing again.   
If Logan had been right about what he said before, what did that mean? Did the others really treat him all that differently? Was there a reason for it? Maybe they just saw him as a bigger threat in comparison so they were trying to be extra nice to keep him under control--

Patton enthusiastically waved at him, wiggling his fingers a bit, and grabbed his empty plate to return to the kitchen.

Virgil audibly sighed. The idea of Patton intentionally doing something malicious just didn't make sense, no matter how his mind tried to spin it.

No, there had to be something else going on, something else that he was missing.

But he had a pretty decent idea of where to look for it.

* * *

People-watching was not unfamiliar to Virgil.   
He'd practiced watching from the shadows and observing others while cleverly blending in for years and years. Really, all the Others were a bit experienced with it by now, just in case they had even a small opportunity to grab Thomas' attention for their own. It was like fighting for scraps after the goody two-shoes "light sides" had already had their fill.  
He also considered it really risky work. Virgil used to hate the threat of being caught, just the idea of being _known_. What would Thomas do? What would the other sides say? The paranoia kept him even more alert than Thomas' constant knack for putting himself in the limelight.  
Some days, he wished he'd stayed as nothing more than a looming shadow, an indiscernible urge to run away and never return.  
But, his stupid self got a single comforting word, was included on the right side of a joke for only a moment, and had a chance to not just grab Thomas' attention but also his consideration and his genuine kindness, and, well… it was impossible to go back after that.  
Thomas _needed_ him now, as weird as that seemed after being pushed away for so long. He'd fought for this all this time, hadn't he?

At least his old tricks could still help him now.

Well, kind of.

He remembered when he tried spying on the light sides long, long ago and how it never really got him anywhere. It was less interesting than watching Thomas himself, but it made it easier to find decent insults to throw at the lot of them when they inevitably found him lurking around.

Patton was the world's easiest target, as the softest of the bunch. He was always calling himself Dad even though he was just a big baby.

Roman? Spent hours in front of his whole wall of mirrors, primping and preening like a douchebag all the time. Didn't take a genius to figure out what would set him off.

And Logan, well… You ever try to watch paint dry? Because trying to watch Logan do anything was infinitely worse.

All that guy ever did was read, sort papers, read again, type on a computer, go give info to Thomas, read again, read, read, and read some more.  
He was, like, the definition of boring.  
But when he started correcting Virgil in conversation or bringing up concepts none of the other sides knew, it at least made sense why he had all that info. It was because he was always _reading_.

Just like he was at that very moment.

Virgil was sitting in the commons, earbud in one ear, pretending to be doing something on his phone while he actually watched Logan across the room, who was sitting perfectly upright in a chair, book in hand.

He remembered that trying to watch Logan in the past was one of the biggest deciding factors in why he outright stopped watching the other sides at all.

Logan turned a page. Moved his arm to the armrest. Reached his hand up to adjust his glasses. Turned another page.

Virgil turned the volume up on his music. This was going to drive him insane.

And it was all because he'd briefly wondered if he may have missed something all this time, but clearly he hadn't. Logan hadn't changed, and Virgil was stupid for thinking he could find anything out by watching.

Logan turned another page.

At least he learned Logan was a fast reader. Figures.

Logan adjusted his glasses again.

One of Thomas' friends had glasses and he'd always adjust them by running his middle finger right up the bridge of his nose. But Logan seemed to just grab the end of the frames and lightly push them closer to his face.

Weird, but not really relevant to what he was trying to figure out.

After another page was turned, Virgil got up and left. He couldn't do this. It wasn't working. He had to figure something else out, something that actually made sense, something that actually told him what he needed to know about what Logan meant.

He had no goddamn clue how he would do that, but anything would be better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sorry again for the huge delay of updates! As I mentioned elsewhere, I recently had to factory reset my phone where I had all my writing saved, so I had to start back at square one. It took longer than I had wanted to get back on track, though. Thankfully things are a bit better and I should be able to update more regularly again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has some ideas and makes some mistakes.
> 
> (Again, Patton and Roman are not unsympathetic but they are making some terrible decisions. Give them time to own up to that.)

While people-watching was something he may have been familiar with, Virgil had never said he was particularly good at it. He figured something—absolutely anything—might just pop out if he paid close enough attention, but Logan was just as boring as ever. At least Logan seemed to not actively avoid him, but he definitely looked wary. He probably noticed Virgil stealthily watching him like some homicidal maniac trying to find an opening...

Virgil grumbled to himself quietly, mostly pissed at how stupid he was being. What was this even supposed to do? Logan seemed bothered before about the others not listening to him, but, so far, it looked as though Logan merely kept to himself, so maybe there just wasn’t anything to listen to?

The easy answer here would be to simply ask for clarification, but he didn’t want to do that. What if Logan hadn’t meant for it to be a big deal, and then got all weirded out because Virgil was still dwelling on it? What if it was a huge deal, and since Virgil had basically been sitting around doing nothing this whole time, Logan thought he was lazy and obnoxious and not worthy of speaking to ever again?

Logan closed his book and checked his watch before standing up, clearly ready to do something else.

Virgil held his breath for a moment, trying to calm himself down. Thinking and ruminating wasn’t helping, either.

Virgil took out his earbuds, shoving them and his phone in his pocket to eventually be untangled later. He wasn’t getting anywhere like this. He needed something more concrete to go off of, something obvious, something that didn’t require him to just flat-out ask…because he _really_ did not want to do that.

  
Roman slammed the door open to the commons, boasting proudly,

“Guess whose latest and greatest idea just started trending!”

He held out his phone with a smirk, as if expecting someone to already be close enough to see what he was talking about. He scanned the room, spotting Virgil on the couch and zipped right over.

He shoved the phone in Virgil’s face, gloating,

“Look! See? Top trending on Twitter and it’s not even been twenty minutes!”

Virgil glanced over the screen and scoffed. He was less impressed and more annoyed at the mere idea of so many random strangers on the internet seeing everything Thomas posted. So many people, so many opinions… Just thinking about it made him want to curl into a ball and hide away forever.

Roman huffed and crossed his arms.

“Not even a word of genuine praise for my creative prowess? Really?” he pouted. “Fine. I’ll gloat elsewhere.”

“You do that,” Virgil muttered as he sank back into the couch, only to watch Roman stride right across the room to Logan, instantly wrapping an arm over the other side’s shoulders and shoving the phone in his face, as well.

Virgil dug his hands into his pockets, somehow simultaneously thankful that wasn't him and also kind of wistful, wanting that level of casual with any of the other sides. At least Logan didn't have to pitifully beg for affection. Granted, Logan also didn’t go out of his way to be menacing and rude to the others to get them away from him, so maybe that was just Virgil's fault, as per usual…

Really, he figured Logan ought to be more grateful, instead of this stupid "I'm envious of your position" nonsense. Sure, they supposedly didn’t listen to him rant about whatever, but at least they didn’t avoid him and go back and forth on whether they actually trusted him or not. …or maybe he was being a jerk for even thinking that.

“Witness the proof of my genius!” Roman exclaimed, squeezing Logan tightly.  


Virgil wasn’t sure what he expected to happen. He figured he’d see Logan’s typical flat expression maybe pissing Roman off, or maybe to hear a sarcastic comment thrown in from them both, or even Logan mentioning a spelling typo in Roman’s oh-so-great post and then they’d break into a fight over it. The last one would be pretty amusing.

But, no, instead, he watched as Logan merely stiffened in place, standing stock-still. His expression was obscured by Roman’s, well, _everything_, but Virgil could plainly see how Logan’s shoulders jolted up to his ears—the universal sign of discomfort—before just…staying like that.

  
And that wasn't good.  


Virgil had no idea what to do. What was even going on? Did Roman startle him? No, he couldn’t have! Logan saw him walk in. Was he just sensitive on his shoulders or something? He could’ve sworn he’d seen Roman and Patton hug Logan a couple times not that long ago. Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood for Roman’s loudness or something? He didn’t seem mad at anyone before this, though, so why the weird stance?

Roman blathered on about his post, and Virgil just stared as Logan seemed very uncomfortable. This wasn't right, but Virgil wasn't sure why.

Did Logan want help? That seemed like such a bizarre concept to even think about. Logan, of anyone, needing help? Logan was the one always fixing everything all the time, especially Virgil’s mistakes; why would he want his help with anything?

But whatever this was, it was obviously bad. Virgil could tell that much…

There had to be something he could do to figure this out.

* * *

One thing was clear--he needed to properly watch Logan interact with the other sides. Something was obviously off about it, but if he got a better look, maybe it would make more sense.

It seemed like an easy enough plan, but it proved to be a struggle only because Logan was apparently prone to keeping to himself.

Virgil had noticed this before, but he was always more focused on how Logan would sometimes avoid sitting near him or leave a room if he was there, attributing it to some deep-seated hatred that his own distorted mind had conjured up. But now, just trying to watch Logan interact with absolutely anyone, it was really obvious that Logan just avoided them all.  
  
Sneaking a glance in Logan's room, too, it seemed the nerdy side just spent as much time as possible getting work done on his own (when he wasn’t reading, reading, _reading_). Maybe it was just an excuse to get away from the other sides? Virgil wasn't sure.

Logan had outright told Virgil the other day that he enjoyed spending time with him. So maybe it was everyone else? It sounded like a big leap to make, even in his head, but Virgil just spent, like, a whole two days watching Logan avoid everybody and the only time he'd look calm was when he thought he was alone.

Regardless, the matter at hand was that he needed to see Logan interact with Roman and Patton. And if Logan was going to avoid them like the plague, he'd never figure out why.

Maybe a little mischief was in order?

* * *

Was this a dumb plan? Probably. But he had to get this ball rolling, because Logan was far too content to camp out in his own room.

Virgil took out his phone, quickly looking for the screenshot he’d need to make his case, and absolutely stalling for time to get his nerves to calm down for five seconds.

Before he could convince himself to just run back to his room, he walked down the dimly-lit hall and right up to Roman’s bedroom door, knocking quickly. Part of him honestly hoped nobody would answer, but the door swung open only moments later, Roman standing there, looking smug as ever.

“Ah, finally come to sing my praises, Doctor Gloom?” Roman asked, smirk at the ready.  


Virgil rolled his eyes reflexively.

  
“Yeah, yeah, I took a look and it was pretty funny. Good work, or whatever,” he conceded, earning Roman’s triumphant smile. The blinding one. He looked back down at his phone to avoid its brightness.  


Without missing a beat, Roman reached up and ruffled his hair, clearly enthused.

  
“Wait!” Roman stopped himself, holding his hands up hesitantly. “Is…is this okay?”

  
Virgil blinked owlishly and forced down a smile. He hated that he liked this idiot’s brand of affection.

“It’s fine, Princ—”

He was cut off as Roman pulled him down and continued ruffling his hair roughly, laughing.

His head down, his phone screen glared up at him, reminding him of the plan. He had to remember the plan.

“R-right, uhh,” he started and Roman pulled away, waiting. Virgil swallowed, feeling even more awkward now. “So, uhh, I looked at some other posts you made for Thomas…”

  
“Oh, yes!” Roman lit up, “Marveling at my work? No doubt you’re impressed, yes?”

  
Virgil didn’t dare look up again, or his eyes would probably roll right out of their sockets.

  
“Right, look, Roman, I noticed…_something_,” he told him, the half-lie tasting disgusting on his tongue. It sounded far more sinister than the situation demanded, but it was part of the plan.

He glanced up at the creative side through his bangs and could see that was exactly how Roman had taken it.

  
“Whatever do you mean?” Roman asked him.

  
“Uhh,” Virgil responded eloquently, and held up his phone, showing him the screenshot. “It’s just that I found some typos in these, so I figured—”

  
“Nonsense! I would _never_!” Roman snatched the phone out of his hand, examining the screen. After only a moment, he somberly turned back to Virgil, holding his phone back out to him.

Virgil took it, trying not to feel too guilty about the edited screenshot.

“Yeah, so, I just thought, with all those people seeing your ideas out there, maybe you could use a proofreader—”

Again, he was cut off as Roman's eyes widened, idea sparking.

  
“Of course! I should have someone check before it’s posted! Why hadn’t I thought of that before?”

  
Virgil bit his lip, watching as Roman pondered out loud. Roman tapped his chin in thought.

  
“Ah, but who could do such a thing for every post?” he asked. “I have so very many brilliant ideas!”  


Virgil hesitantly pointed behind him to Logan’s room.

“Isn’t Logan kind of an expert at that sort of thing—?”

  
“Yes! Our resident nerd! I must seize this opportunity at once!” Roman exclaimed, rushing right past him and across the hall.

  
Virgil quickly stepped out of the way and into the shadow of the hallway as Roman barged into Logan’s room without so much as a knock. He quietly sidled up against the wall to the side of Logan’s doorway and took a peek inside.

The scene was about what he expected this time. Roman flamboyantly gesticulating at Logan who looked confused and a bit tired. Virgil’s vantage point was far different this time, as Logan had spun around in his desk chair to face Roman as he entered, his expression fully on display.

Roman asked him something and Logan responded neutrally, in his typical monotone manner. Virgil continued to watch silently from the shadows, just out of sight, waiting.

It only took a minute before Roman heard something he clearly liked from Logan, and despite Logan’s insistence on stating something about facts with favorable outcomes and nothing more, Roman reached down and grabbed Logan, pulling him up out of his chair and into a big hug, arm snugly over Logan’s shoulders, trapping him.

This time, Virgil could see plain as day as Logan stiffened, gaze fixed forward and expression blank but strained.  


Virgil grimaced. That seemed worse than before. And now he felt bad for setting this up.

He ducked back into the hallway and headed back to his room, feeling guilty. So, Logan didn’t seem to like Roman’s level of affection, at least not like Virgil did, so what did that mean? Maybe he would react differently with someone like Patton?

He’d just have to do one more not-so-great thing and maybe he’d be able to help.

* * *

Getting Patton to interact with them all was easy, since they all typically shared a meal at least once a week and Logan always dutifully showed up for it.

The atmosphere seemed about the same as it usually did, but Virgil being on the lookout made everything much clearer. He didn’t have to wait long this time.

As Roman explained that he and Logan would be working together on future text posts, Patton beamed proudly. And, much like Roman had earlier, Patton leaned over to ruffle the top of Logan’s hair, amused.

Virgil felt his stomach sink as he saw Logan go still again and stare blankly down at his dinner plate, as if he was just waiting for the moment to pass.

Virgil swallowed, feeling infinitely worse about this. He had never put much thought into Patton’s level of affection, as he was so gentle and warm in everything he would do. He frowned, knowing that he kind of liked when Patton ruffled _his_ hair, even if it did end up looking completely messed up afterward.

As Patton turned his attention back to Roman, Logan just stared down at his plate silently for a few minutes. Virgil considered reaching over to poke him, to maybe see if he needed rebooting, but then Logan sat up, rigid as ever and looking like he’d gone back to normal. Well, as normal as Logan could be, at least.

The whole thing got Virgil thinking, trying to piece it all together.

It wasn’t just Roman then, it was distinctly the other sides being affectionate with Logan. Maybe it was the whole “no feelings” bit Logan had going? But what would that have to do with them not listening to him?

“Thank you for the meal, Patton,” Logan had finally spoken up, and Virgil watched as he stood to take his dishes back to the kitchen.

He kind of wished he’d had enough time to figure out Logan’s issue, but at least he’d narrowed down the options.

“Hey, not so fast!” Patton chuckled, standing as he reached out and grabbed Logan’s elbow to stop him and turn him back around. Logan's disgusted grimace fell away by the time he was facing him, but Virgil had caught it. Patton continued,

“I appreciate your effort to patch things up with Virgil and co…collate with Roman!”

“_Collaborate_.” Logan corrected.

“Yes, that!” Patton grinned. “So… Victory hug?” he offered, arms opening wide.

Logan shook his head, his expression clearly more strained now.

“That’s not necessary, Patton,” he tried, but Patton leaned in anyway, wrapping Logan in his signature warm hug.

Logan grit his teeth and dropped the dishes to the floor and harshly pushed Patton away. Everyone else in the room stared in shock.

In a split-second, the room had filled with tension.

  
“Whoa now, Mr. Roboto, no need to get rough with our softie here!” Roman half-joked, standing up and attempting to lean over to pull the logical side into another side-hug, but Logan quickly ducked down, evading him.

  
Roman instantly pouted in return, dramatically complaining,

“Well, that’s just rude! Here I am, trying to be cordial, and you treat me as though I were unworthy? And to think, I considered us colleagues!”

“Now isn’t the best time, Roman,” Logan muttered, backing away. Logan had barely turned back to him before Patton grabbed his arm again, and Logan violently pulled away.

His face barely registered resentment before he silently sunk out of the room.

Virgil couldn’t blame him. Everything that just happened had the meal in his stomach threatening to resurface.

It really was just like he’d said. They hadn’t listened to a single word Logan told them. It wasn’t rants or lectures at all—he told them not to touch him and they did it anyway.

How had he not realized this sooner?

  
“Hey, Virgil?”

  
He snapped out of his thoughts and turned to Patton, who’d been trying to get his attention. The fatherly side smiled softly, his hand hovering near Virgil’s shoulder.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to touch you in case I startled you,” Patton explained, pulling his hand away. “Don't worry too much about Logan, I'm sure he'll calm down soon enough.

"Anyway, I was just going to ask, did you want to stick around for dessert? I made some brownies tonight!"

Virgil blinked as he slowly processed those words.

_I didn’t want to touch you in case I startled you._

_I didn’t want to touch you._

_ **Didn’t want to touch.** _

Virgil suddenly stood up, nearly knocking his chair over. Oh god, he was such an idiot. This whole time, it wasn’t about affection, it wasn’t about any of them, it was just the _touching_ in general!

And it made sense…

Patton was always so ready with hugs, but he was completely different with Virgil about them, asking if it was okay and listening when Virgil told him he couldn’t do contact at that moment. Sure, he figured that Patton had his own issues enough to understand that Virgil just had times where he was too on-edge and wouldn’t know how to react properly, but just now… He laughed off what Logan was saying and just hugged him anyway, even when he flat-out told him not to? What was this double-standard bullshit going on?

And Roman? Roman was _worse_! Sure, Virgil didn’t really mind his insults and nicknames even at the worst of times, but when he wasn’t in the mood to deal with affection, Roman would back down without much fuss at all. But when Logan had ducked around Roman’s hug attempt, he got all pouty and abrasive about it, like it was somehow Logan’s fault? How did that make any sense?

And Virgil, too. When he’d grabbed his sleeve in the past, when he startled Logan enough that he launched his mug of coffee like a rocket out of his own hands… He hadn’t been angry, he just didn’t know how to react, being touched out of the blue like that. Virgil had thought Logan just had anger issues or something, but it’d been on him the whole time.

Virgil could feel his hands shaking as he realized what he’d done, setting this whole thing into motion like this. He knew something was bothering Logan, but he didn’t think it was anything like this, and certainly not to this degree.

Glancing back up at Patton and then Roman and their completely dumbfounded expressions, he quickly decided _he_ would have to fix this. He had no idea how long this had been going on, but he was determined to do whatever he had to in order to reverse it.

The unfamiliar fire in his chest was enough to help him regain his voice and he slammed his hands on the table in front of him.

“Both of you, sit down,” he told the other two. “We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long to complete; I've been ridiculously busy at work due to the pandemic situation and it's taken up a lot of my free time, as well as my sanity.  
Thankfully, now that we'll be returning to Logan's POV in the remaining chapters, I won't struggle in writing it as much, so that will help quite a bit in updating this story at a regular pace again!  
Thanks for reading and for all the lovely comments, as well. It's inspiring to know so many people are enjoying this work.


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